we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
