he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sober January is a disaster.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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