I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
