Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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