You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
