So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
