is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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