nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Found your dick twin last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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