she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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