Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
