weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
