its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize