i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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