There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
