Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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