Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
