3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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