Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
