who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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