So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
