Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize