I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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