i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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