My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
