It's Friday. Sex?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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