Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize