Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize