Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize