i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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