it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
