My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it's like heaven, but drunker
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
