Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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