Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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