Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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