We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
