Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
