As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize