Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
