Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
