It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
