Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm both gender and math confused
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
