their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize