I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
