ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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