i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
