I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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