dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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