I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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