I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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