out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
