who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
