I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
