Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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