im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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