I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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