We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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